Coping With Postpartum Intrusive Thoughts in Motherhood
Is It Normal To Think That?
For me, with my firstborn sleep was elusive. Anytime he slept I found myself putting my hands in front of his mouth to confirm he was breathing. I tracked every minute of sleep, feeds, wake windows - I knew it all down to the minute. Any change in the ‘norm’ sent me down a rabbit hole of trying to get back into our routine. These thoughts were suffocating - not because I wanted them to, but because the thoughts just showed up. Uninvited. Unnerving. Unrelenting.
If you're reading this, maybe you’ve had an intrusive thought too — and now you're scared that it means something about you.
Let me gently assure you: You are not a bad mom. You are not broken.
And you are not alone.
Intrusive thoughts in motherhood are surprisingly common. They are a symptom of postpartum anxiety, sometimes postpartum depression, and almost always a reflection of a protective, overstimulated mind doing too much at once.
Therapy can help you find your calm again, and take back control of your thoughts in a safe, supportive space.
Let’s Get Clear on What Postpartum Intrusive Thoughts Are
One of the most common fears I hear in therapy is this:
“If I think these things… does that mean I’ll do them?”
No. Intrusive thoughts are not intentions. They’re thoughts - loud, scary, often bizarre ones, that feel real but are not a reflection of your values, safety, or worthiness as a mother.
Intrusive thoughts can look like:
Unwanted images (e.g., imagining tripping while holding your baby)
Disturbing “what if” scenarios (e.g., “What if I snap?”)
Sudden flashes of fear, doom, or dread
Sexual or violent thoughts that deeply contradict how you actually feel
They can be visual. They can be looping. They can feel shameful or absurd. But what they aren’t is rare, nearly half of postpartum parents experience intrusive thoughts.
These thoughts are not your fault. They’re often linked to perinatal anxiety, and they are your brain’s overprotective way of trying to keep your baby safe.
Why Do Intrusive Thoughts Happen?
Your brain is trying to help, but it’s doing it in overdrive, and it’s hard to control in that moment.
We parents are wired to protect, nurture, and nurture. But we are also juggling sleepless nights, body changes, hormonal shifts, and the pressure of modern motherhood. The postpartum period is a storm of change. And it’s okay if your nervous system is sounding the alarm a little too often.
Add in the fact that 1 in 5 new parents develop a mental health condition after birth - it’s no wonder the mind feels overwhelmed.
The Link Between Mom Anger, Anxiety & Intrusive Thoughts
Ever snapped over something small and then spiraled into guilt? You’re not alone.
Postpartum intrusive thoughts, mom rage, and perinatal anxiety often feed off each other. When thoughts feel scary or uncontrollable, they can lead to irritability, overwhelm, and even moments of explosive anger — often followed by deep shame.
It’s a lonely cycle. It’s also one that therapy can help interrupt — with tools that offer relief, not judgment.
How to Start Controlling Your Intrusive Thoughts
You can’t just “positive vibes” your way out of intrusive thoughts. But you can start creating distance from them - with tools that are simple, repeatable, and grounded in real therapy strategies.
Try this 4-step tool when a thought hits:
Say out loud: “This is a thought.”
Then: “This thought is not real.”
Follow up with: “This is not true.”
Reframe it: “I am going to wash my baby, and they are going to be safe and clean.”
This kind of disengagement with thoughts is the foundation of what we explore in therapy. We’re not trying to erase the thoughts. We’re helping you take back your power around them.
What Support Looks Like: Listening Without Judgment
Here’s what support can actually look like:
Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing (EMDR) Therapy: We process the root of anxiety and help rewire the emotional impact of distressing thoughts. Learn more here.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): You’ll learn how to recognize, reframe, and disengage from the thought loops that feed anxiety.
Mindfulness & Grounding: Bringing you back to the present - and help you feel more anchored in your body and mind.
And most of all - we simply listen. No shame. No judgment. Just a therapist who also gets what it’s like to feel scared by your own mind. As both a trauma-informed clinician and a mom, I hold space for you with care and compassion.
You Deserve Support That Honors Your Experience
If you’ve been wrestling with thoughts that scare you, shame you, or leave you wondering “Am I okay?” - I want you to know: you are not alone in this.
Postpartum intrusive thoughts don’t make you a bad mom. They mean you need support. And you deserve to heal with someone who truly understands.
Therapy isn’t about “fixing” you. It’s about walking with you while you remember your strength.
I offer trauma-informed therapy for postpartum anxiety, rage, and intrusive thoughts — virtually across PA & MD, or in person in Westminster, MD.
Schedule a free consultation today.
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Amanda Gibbons, MSW, LCSW-C, PMH-CRestoring Heart and Home, LLC